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There are 32 teams in the NFL, but as we approach Super Bowl Sunday, only two are left standing.
So even if you are a football fan, chances are, your team won't be taking the field. Nevertheless, the Super Bowl remains a social event and you'll probably be watching the game. Given that the commercials just don't seem as exciting as they used to, wouldn't it be more fun if you had a rooting interest in the game?
This year, I don't have any trouble choosing a side. The Philadelphia Eagles are divisional rivals of my favorite team, the Washington Whaddayacallems, and while I may like and respect some of their players, I just can't root for them. So for Sunday at least, I'll be a Kansas City Chiefs fan.
But given that it has been (gasp) 31 YEARS since the Washingtons were in the big game, I've developed a method to help pick a squad to support. I'll rank the teams using criteria both objective and subjective, with the highest scorer being the one you should pick. Unless you think my reasoning is stupid; then, by all means, choose the other one.
Before we begin, here's my usual disclaimer that this is not intended to predict who will actually win the game. This is strictly a way to pick a team to support when you otherwise don't care and don't have a coin to flip.
1. GEOGRAPHY
Many people root for teams close to them, which explains why the Mid-Ohio Valley has so many Cleveland, Cincinnati and Pittsburgh fans -- but not the inexplicable love for the Dallas Cowboys I sometimes encounter.
Google Maps tells me Kansas City (Missouri, that is) is a 766-mile drive from Parkersburg, while Philadelphia is a relatively short 422-mile jaunt. Although, for what it's worth, Google warns there are tolls on that route.
EAGLES 1, CHIEFS 0
2. ALMA MATERS
If you don't root for these teams on Sunday, maybe you supported some of their players on Saturday.
Kansas City has a Marshall alumnus, rookie safety Nazeeh Johnson. He's recorded four tackles on the year, so don't expect to see him on the field whole lot.
You'll probably see more of Kyzir White, the fifth-year Philly linebacker out of West Virginia University, whose tackles total 61. Also on the Eagles' roster is backup running back Trey Sermon. The Ohio State alum had two carries for 19 yards that did produce an impressive 9.5 yards per carry average.
EAGLES 2, CHIEFS 0
3. MASCOT
This can be viewed a couple of ways: Which mascot is more original or, my favorite, which mascot would win in a fight?
Eagles are majestic and embody strength, speed and skill. But it is a pretty common team name.
The Chiefs seem to have dodged the controversy many other Native American-themed teams have experienced, although that could have something to do with not having a name that specifically references skin color or a logo that includes an actual native American. The name Chiefs implies nobility, authority and skill. And, while I personally would not want to fight an eagle, I give the nod in completely fictional combat in which no animals are harmed to the human.
CHIEFS 1, EAGLES 2
4. POP CULTURE
A lot of times I would use the category "Storyline" here, which tends to go to the underdog. But both of these teams won 14 games and were the top seed in their conference. At various points in the season, they were favorites to get here. You could make an argument for Chiefs Coach Andy Reid getting a chance to beat the franchise that let him go after 14 successful-but-Super-Bowl-victory-less years or second-year Eagles coach Nick Sirianni and unexpected superstar quarterback Jalen Hurts.
Or you could go with their pop culture presence, which gives Kansas City a clear advantage in the form of QB Patrick Mahomes' ubiquitous State Farm commercials, the best of which features the seemingly straight-laced Reid confessing that he draws mustaches on sleeping players. That's good stuff. And it gives us a tie, going into the final category.
CHIEFS 2, EAGLES 2
5. UNIFORMS
Some folks just pick the team that's easier on the eyes.
My mother is rooting for the Eagles in part because of their green-and-white color scheme. Personally, I think the Chiefs' red and white is a better and more vibrant look. And they do have the simple-but-effective arrowhead logo going for them.
But darn it, those wings on Philadelphia's helmets are just too classic.
EAGLES 3, CHIEFS 2
Evan Bevins can be reached at ebevins@newsandsentinel.com.